What Do Beavis and Butthead, Revenge of the Nerds, and Horror Movies Have In Common?

    Black Christmas (1974), My Bloody Valentine (1981), Revenge of the Nerds (1984), Revenge of the Nerds III (1992), Revenge of the Nerds IV (1994), Beavis and Butthead (1993-1997). What do they all have in common? Well, for one, I watched them all over the weekend, and they're all on Netflix instant watch. Sadly, and strangely, Revenge of the Nerds II: Nerds In Paradise is not, so I'll never know what happens to the little nerdlings while in paradise. But there are other similarities. Black Christmas and My Bloody Valentine have been remade into modern horror films. I haven't seen either, but reportedly, they're not so good. Beavis and Butthead are supposedly going to come back to MTV as well with new episodes. And given the trend lately of remaking anything and everything, a Revenge of the nerds reboot isn't too far fetched. But though they may try, and though they have tried, they just don't make 'em like they used to.

    Black Christmas is a bit of a slow burn. Truth be told, it's a little boring in parts, and the kills are infrequent and mostly off-camera. Nevertheless, what it lacks in gore, it makes up for in ambiance and suspense. The killer's motive is never clearly revealed, nor is his identity, and the twist ending is more intriguing than a 70's horror movie really has the right to be. They don't make horror like that anymore. Now, suspense is usually defined as the time between ear-piercing sonic booms used to create cheap jump scares. Ambiance is created through dizzying quick cuts and flashy music video effects. (See the Nightmare On Elm Street Remake. Or rather, don't...)

My Bloody Valentine leaves you guessing as well. It's a mystery slasher, with a killer dressed head to toe in miner's gear; his face completely concealed under an oxygen mask, making his breathing part of the ambiance and suspense. The remake had boobies and 3-d pickaxes instead of suspense.

The Revenge of the Nerds movies combined comedy with an anti-stereotyping message. Granted, that message was watered down further and further with the sequels, to the point where part IV became nerds vs. yuppies. Then again, in order to present an anti-stereotyping message, they used stereotypes. Big time. From the meat headed, hate filled, short-fused football team, to the flamboyantly gay character of Lamar, complete with limp wrist and high pitched voice, to the football coach who's only concern in life is his image, which he upholds vicariously by leading the cool kids and throwing his weight around with the administration, and of course the nerds with their bad hygiene, love for technology, goofy mismatched clothes and nasally laughs. If they do remake Revenge of the Nerds, they'll have to face political correctness, which is gloriously absent from the original. More to the point, nerdom is en vogue now. Football players are looked down upon more than nerds are. And football players touching the hearts of their peers and earning their sympathy and respect doesn't seem likely.

And Beavis and Butthead... Well, it might still work. I can't conceptualize what the characters will do, assuming they've grown up since the original series. If they're the same, i.e. still in high school, still slackers, still amused by sexual puns and fart jokes, still working fast food and still under 21, it runs the risk of getting old. After all, Mike Judge decided to stop the show because he couldn't think of what they'd do after high school. Either he's had an epiphany, or it'll be more of the same. That's not so bad really, as I'm a fan of the show, but we've all grown up and matured. If the characters haven't, a new generation may come to appreciate them, but the long time fans might drop out. Re-watching the old episodes on Netflix accomplished two things: It reminded me how good the show was, when it was a complete episode, with music video commentary, and I was the right age to relate to the characters, as I too was immature and amused by dumb jokes and heavy metal videos, and it made me wish I had been smart enough to record the episodes from tv back in the day, as they'll never be released in their complete form due to all of the legal hoops involved. The best parts of the show, frankly, were the music video commentaries. They were all improvised, and they were often the funniest parts of an otherwise so-so episode. But oddly enough, when artists are made fun of, they're not as likely to agree to allowing their music videos to be used in the home video releases. And if they are, they expect monetary compensation.

They don't make 'em like they used to. But at least there's still nostalgia.