Sunday, October 31, 2010

2010 Halloween Party Movie Playlist

    Halloween is kind of a big deal at our house. My wife and I have always liked Halloween, partly because we decided to date at a Halloween party, and were married on Halloween last year, but mostly because we're both little kids about it and we still have a good time dressing up. We're in a townhouse, so outside decorating isn't really an option, and this year we didn't really decorate inside much either, mostly due to time and budget constraints. I had the intention of at least putting out a Jack-O-Lantern, but alas, they all rotted away well before the party, and I knew I wouldn't have time to carve yet another pumpkin. But we always have a party. And I always use it as an occasion to subject my friends to horror movies as background noise. And I always spend more time than necessary picking out a playlist.

     We discovered not too long ago that our dvd player downstairs, where the party takes place, is actually a multi-disc dvd player. How this information escaped us for this long, we still don't know. But that actually made picking out a playlist a bit easier, because before then, we would debate what movie to put on as the night went along, and eventually we would be engaged in a game of Apples to Apples or Scattergories or something, and it would pretty much just be the start menu on repeat. Now that we know it's a multi-disc player, we can just load up 5 movies and set them to pretty much auto play.

    Every year, I pull out all of our horror movies to take inventory. I make an essential pile, a maybe pile, and a not good for a party pile. The essential pile usually consists of just two movies: It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown and Hocus Pocus. Charlie Brown because, well, everyone likes Charlie Brown. And Hocus Pocus at my wife's request, because it was a childhood favorite of hers. The maybe pile is usually the largest. Is this the year I subject everyone to Troll 2, or Slumberparty Massacre 2, or my favorite bad but fun Friday the 13th or A Nightmare on Elm Street sequel? Are they ready for Killer Klowns from Outer Space? Is this an Attack of the Killer Tomatoes crowd? Can I get away with Dr. Giggles? etc. The not good for a party pile is also usually pretty large as well, because frankly, a lot of horror movies just aren't really good for a Halloween party. I love American Psycho, and I did get some unexpected compliments for owning it on vhs, but it's a little too crazy for a Halloween party. And I don't own it, or even like it very much anyway, but you can't just whip out a movie like Last House on the Left in any group setting.

    So this year, my playlist was thus: It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown, followed by Hocus Pocus, followed by Killer Klowns from Outer Space, followed by Friday the 13th part 5: A New Beginning, followed by A Nightmare on Elm Street part 6: Freddy's Dead. Or at least, that's what my original playlist was. I ended up watching Charlie Brown three times; once with my wife, once with two of our friends who came early, and again when everyone arrived. I subjected our early friends to Killer Klowns from Outer Space, and they didn't seem to object too much, thankfully. My wife apparently isn't a fan though, which is a bit heartbreaking. So we switched it out for Carrie when everyone arrived. It's one of my wife's favorites, and a few people hadn't seen it.

   So once everyone arrived, the playlist was: Charlie Brown, followed by Hocus Pocus, followed by Carrie, with Freddy's Dead next in the queue, followed by Friday the 13th Part 5. Charlie Brown was a nice and innocent way to kick things off. Everyone has seen it hundreds of times, so it's easy to tune out but appreciate. Perfect for the start of a party, when you're mingling and getting food and what-not. Hocus Pocus, personally, doesn't interest me much. But as a good hubby, I put it on anyhow. And it was good for a bit of 90's nostalgia, particularly the cliche 90's bad boy outfit of a leather jacket, fingerless black gloves, long hair, and ripped jeans. The uniform of a 90's bully. You know, before everyone got all uppity about bullying. It's a harmless enough movie. Another that you can kind of fade in and out from while still enjoying the party. Entertaining enough for a few laughs, not gory or bloody, family friendly, though that wasn't an issue at our party as there were no children present. Just a bunch of grown ups, who still have a bit of childlike wonder left in them.

   And then we took a break from Apples to Apples and Scattergories to watch Carrie. I guess it's been awhile since I've watched Carrie, because I completely forgot that the first few minutes, at least in the version we have, contains a LOT of full-frontal female nudity. 70's full frontal female nudity at that. Thankfully our circle of friends aren't bothered by that, and it brought on several schrubbery related jokes instead of social awkwardness. But all in all, it was a good party movie. A bit dated, but that lead to jokes, and just scary enough to be interesting. And the ending jump scare got a couple of our guests, which was fun. It was close to midnight by the time Carrie ended, so we didn't get to Freddy's Dead or Friday the 13th Part 5. I tried to jump to the video game sequence in Freddy's Dead, but I couldn't remember where it was in the movie by the scene select menu alone.

  All in all, not a bad playlist. I try to pick out movies that are universally fun, or at least easy to make fun of. Nothing too serious, nothing too scary, nothing too disgusting. And the funny aspects need to be at least somewhat reasonable, I think. Perhaps not the gross absurdity that is a Troma movie, like Class of Nuke 'Em High or Toxic Avenger, but something that's either self aware and purposefully silly, like April Fool's Day or Freddy vs. Jason, or one that actually tried to be serious and failed completely, like Troll 2. But maybe that's just me, and maybe that's just our group of friends. Some people might prefer playing scary classics. And at times, I wish I could pull together a group of people to watch something like Human Centipede, or Mother's Day, so I wouldn't have to feel like such a weirdo for having at least a basic appreciation for movies like that (though I haven't actually seen either example completely yet.) I still think, in the context of a Halloween party where the movies aren't meant to be the focal point, keeping things light hearted and funny is a good plan. Nostalgia is also a winner, from my experience. It's a time to re-watch things more than it is to try new things. Hence the yearly viewing of Charlie Brown. Basically, play to your audience. Not everyone is going to love every movie, and that's ok. But there are some that people can tolerate as long as they're fun or funny.

  The Halloween playlist always reminds me of just how many classics I either need to see or to own. Somehow I don't have The Shining or Halloween on any format. And I have a lot of vhs that I should get on dvd at this point, like Night of the Living Dead and Plan 9 From Outer Space. I even have two movies in my collection that I haven't watched yet; Thirst and Wrong Turn 3. I won them in a contest, so it's somewhat excusable, but still... I also apparently never opened my copy of The Craft, though I like that movie a lot. And there are so many horror movies that I need to see. I have Vertigo sitting in it's Netflix sleeve, untouched for days now. It's just one of many classics that I'm ashamed to say I haven't caught yet. And my Netflix streaming queue is filled with many others. It's just hard for me to watch new stuff when there are so many seasonal favorites that I haven't grown tired of seeing, for reasons even I don't understand. To think, I almost made everyone watch A New Beginning...        

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

In Defense of: Texas Chainsaw Massacre II

  A new segment to my humble little blog, "In Defense of," where I do my best to defend a movie, album, band, etc. that I feel doesn't get the credit that it deserves. For this installment, I'm going to try to defend the movie Texas Chainsaw Massacre II.

  Texas Chainsaw Massacre was released in 1974. It's considered to be essential viewing, and one of the cornerstones of the horror genre by most fans. The gore is subtle, and there's not much blood, especially compared to modern horror fare. And yet, people remember it as being shocking and violent. It is shocking, and truly disturbing, but not because of gore or blood, or even the violence, which is relatively subdued. Texas Chainsaw Massacre delves into the psyche of a twisted family of killers, who have degraded themselves so far for so long that they can no longer differentiate between human beings and cattle raised for the slaughter. Before they slaughtered humans, they slaughtered cattle as their family business. But their livelihood and way of life has been threatened and permanently changed by new technology and new practices in the slaughterhouse industry. Their way of life, and all that they've known is now considered inhumane and barbaric. But they're good at it. And they love their work. What's a group of skilled and passionate slaughterhouse butchers to do when the business dries up? They start using humans for their meat supply.

   Everyone remembers Leatherface from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre movies, as he's become the figurehead of the franchise, in the same vein as Jason from the Friday the 13th movies, and Freddy from A Nightmare On Elm Street. Leatherface is a brute; a hefty man who wields a chainsaw and hunts like a bloodhound. But he's not even the most frightening character in the film. His family is far more twisted than Leatherface is. Leatherface is the muscle of the family, not the mastermind. In fact, Leatherface is arguably the most compassionate of them all. He hunts and kills. It's as simple as a job task for him. His family, however, enjoys torturing their food. Leatherface is also the closest thing to a female or motherly influence that the family has. There is no mother character, and the grandmother, it turns out, is a corpse. Leatherface wears makeup and an apron in some scenes, and it's his job to prepare "meals" for the family, much like the stereotypical 50's housewife archetype. They boss him around like unappreciative children, and even beat him when he disobeys. And that's what's so terrifying about Texas Chainsaw Massacre; the 6 foot tall, couple hundred pound, chainsaw wielding madman, who wears the sewn-together flesh of his victims as a mask, is the least damaged villain in the group. It's a compelling story, and it's truly scary, without relying upon shock value and visceral overload. And that's why it's a classic.

  Texas Chainsaw Massacre would have been fine as a one time, stand-alone entry in the horror pantheon. So understandably, many fans didn't believe that a sequel was necessary. And the tone of Texas Chainsaw Massacre II is much different. Director Tobe Hooper, who also directed and created Texas Chainsaw Massacre, has always claimed that the original film was intended to be much more comedic than people realized. That's a little hard to believe given the subject matter of a homicidal, cannibalistic family that takes such joy in torturing their victims, especially their final victim, a helpless young woman. At any rate, the comedic elements are ramped up and far more obvious in the sequel. Many fans disliked the change, and it's one of the reasons why they dislike the sequel.

  I feel that the comedic elements are in good taste. They're not so idiotic that they're distracting. They're still very much in the dark comedy realm, and the film still has a dark and unsettling feel to it. In fact, the comedic elements only help to show just how detached and twisted the family really is. The villains are even crazier, with the introduction of family member Choptop; a shell shocked Vietnam War veteran with a steel plate in his head, who lights the end of a bent clothes hanger and uses it to scratch at the headwound around the plate, which removes flecks of dead skin... which he then eats. He's easily the most entertaining lunatic in the family, played by the always brilliant Bill Moseley. Leatherface is back, of course, and he's just as threatening, But he's growing as a person, at least as much as possibly for Leatherface, and his "compassion" is starting to get in the way of his work. He's starting to discover women and his natural human urges toward them, to the displeasure of his brother Choptop and his father. And also, to the displeasure of many fans.

  Leatherface is a cold blooded killer, afterall. There's no room for humanistic behavior or compassion in a killer. Yet Leatherface hesitates killing the female lead in Texas Chainsaw Massacre II, and even decides to help her escape from the family. He has feelings for her. This is, of course, contradictory of the original film, where Leatherface just killed without question. And arguably, he killed much better looking (all due respect to actress Caroline Williams) and crush worthy co-eds than the female lead in part II. The idea of Leatherface feeling any compassion was a tough pill to swallow for most fans. But to me, it makes perfect sense.

   The events of part II supposedly happened 14 years after the events of part I. As I stated before, I believe Leatherface is the most human of anyone in the family. He doesn't speak in anything more than ape-like grunts, but you never got the sense that he particularly enjoyed hurting people; he just did his job, usually without question. He's always been the motherly figure in the family, and he was at the mercy of his alpha male brothers and father, often treated like a slave or a pet rather than an equal. So to me, it makes sense that he would relate to a victim. He fears his family in the same way that his victims fear them. He doesn't want to get hurt any more than they do, but he knows that they'll hit him if he disobeys or fails. And he's maturing. He's becoming more like a teenager, which means he's starting to get interested in girls, albeit in a far less developed way that normal human beings. He's testing the waters, as it were. His brothers , only slightly more developed than Leatherface, have always been rebellious and disobedient to some extent. Leatherface is starting to rebel in  his own way, by disobeying his father and trying to change their ways.

  Then again, maybe that's just reading too much into things. It could be that it's just a fun horror movie. Much less serious than the original, sure, but disturbing nonetheless. Not only are the family members cruel and twisted, but they also have fun being insane and cruel, which in turn makes them even more frightening. Not to mention, they've somehow managed to keep their evil deeds a secret for more than 14 years, while selling their cannibal meat to the unsuspecting townspeople. The gore is amped up in part II, brought to you by practical effects master Tom Savini. It's gross, to be sure, but it's not overwhelming or gratuitous. Just enough to be viscerally shocking, without inducing too much disgust or nausea.

   All in all, it's a fun horror movie. Is it flawed? Of course. Some of the acting outside of the main cast is really, really poor. The opening sequence is just bizarre and goofy, with stereotypical 80's yuppies freely shooting their gun at road signs and drinking beer while driving. The transition from night to day is alarming and very sudden. And it's hard to believe that the family simply packed up everything and moved upstate, undetected and unquestioned, taking refuge in an abandoned amusement park, or that they did all of that and set up a company that sells chili and other foodstuffs to unsuspecting citizens. Bill Moseley is completely over the top (over the Choptop?) which, while entertaining and suited to the character, isn't very developed. He wasn't in the original, and how he came to be with the family isn't explained. He just shows up, and he's insane like the others, so you accept that he's just another one of the clan. It would have been nice to get just a bit more backstory on the family. Then again, maybe the fact that we really don't know much about them makes them all the more terrifying. Some of Tom Savini's effects are a bit cheesy as well; in particular, the first kill. Although, it seems like it was intentionally so. The ending is also a little unsatisfying, as you're left not really knowing what happens to some of the characters. But the humor adds to the atmosphere, it's just as scary as the original, and there's not a dull moment to be found. There are some genuinely effective jump scares as well, that still work today, and better than a lot of modern attempts.     

And there's a chainsaw fight... between Leatherface and Dennis Hopper. And it's glorious.

Oh, and Primus sampled a line of dialogue from the film in their song Jerry Was A Racecar Driver.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre II is on Netflix as a physical disc mailing. It can also generally be found for $5 or so at places like Five Below and Big Lots. If you haven't seen the original, by all means check that one out first. If you enjoy it, give part II a shot.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Movie Review: Pirate Radio

  I just finished watching Pirate Radio, and in short, I loved it. I knew going into it that it would be something that I'd probably like. It's a movie about music, and I love movies about music, even decidedly bad ones. I've found myself captivated by biographies of bands that I don't care about at all. I actually LIKED the movie Rock Star with Mark "Don't Call Me Marky Mark" Wahlburg and Jennifer Aniston. I proudly own a copy of Rock and Roll High School on dvd. And the extended cut, super fan edition of Almost Famous. I watched Videodrome not because it's a David Cronenberg masterpiece, but because Debby Harry from Blondie is in it. I sat through Light of Day because Joan Jett is in it. So when I heard about Pirate Radio, a movie about a rogue group of disc jockeys who took to the open seas to avoid censorship, I was all for it. But like all movies that are actually worth seeing, I blinked, and it was out of theaters. I sneezed, and it was all but forgotten; buried by the latest Twilight installment. Too bad really, because it deserved far more acclaim than it actually garnered.
  
  At it's heart, Pirate Radio is a pretty simple "us vs. them," rock 'n roll vs. uptight corporate squares, freedom vs. restriction story. And to be fair, that's one of the criticisms that I do have of the film; The conflict isn't very well established, so it does at times feel like shallow hippie rhetoric, with an ill-defined "man" trying to bring down the groovy group, just because their long hair and loud guitars loving lifestyle is anti-establishment. Where the film redeems itself is through the interesting characters, and the infectious camaraderie of the group. They steal each others dates (and wives, as it were), they break each others metaphorical balls, they hold childish and dangerous competitions for nothing more than foolish pride, but they're a family; a gloriously unwashed, dysfunctional family, brought together by little more than their love for music. And they're willing to fight for the things they love, including each other.

   Pirate Radio really hits its stride within the last 30 minutes or so of the film. The threat of a government shut down is eminent from the first note played, and naturally, it comes to a head, leaving the group fighting to stay alive. As a fan of music, it's inspiring. To think that there were, and perhaps still are, those who love music so much that they'd risk it all just to have the freedom to play it. That there were once radio djs who actually had a passion for the music, and who could, and would, voice their opinions; their real, heart felt opinions about a song.

    Arguably, that spirit is dead in commercial radio now. Even satellite radio, which prides itself on its open format and freedom of speech, uses a playlist. And one that's seemingly pre-approved by some agency or another to keep the riff-raff out. Which is why Vanilla Ice is featured on the 90's station, and The Melvins are not. But the spirit lives on at the grass roots level; music fans taking to the internet to spread their love of music to others. Podcasts and music blogs, created by the fans, for the fans. People willing to openly proclaim that Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band is NOT the greatest album ever created, and there WAS and still IS great music being recorded well after the Beatles called it quits, Elvis died on the crapper, and the Sex Pistols asked if the audience ever got the feeling like they were being cheated. Bands putting out their own albums and merchandise, free from the shackles of a corporate record label. Loyalists who still happily scour bins of used cds and vinyl, proudly displaying their Pogues t-shirts. People who know how and why Black Sabbath got their legendary guitar tone...

  It probably does help to have a questionably unhealthy love for music and rock and roll in particular in order to really appreciate Pirate Radio. There are some big names attached to the film though, like Philip Seymour Hoffman essentially reprising his role in Almost Famous as a Lester Bangs type dj. This time he's "the Count" instead of Lester Bangs, but they're virtually one and the same. Pirate Radio also features Chris O'Dowd and Katherine Parkinson from the IT Crowd, and Kenneth Branagh of Harry Potter fame (He played Professor Lockhart). The ending, which I won't spoil, was touching, and it inspired me to throw on some classic rock vinyl and bash in the glory of music fandom. 

Saturday, October 16, 2010

The Great Pumpkin... Massacre

     I've always liked carving pumpkins, and for some reason I decided to really go for it this year. I'm not at all a visual artist, nor am I much of a "handyman." I got a B in shop class, in other words. But for some reason, pumpkins inspire me to at least try to be both. It all really started around high school, when one year I decided that the traditional three triangles and some jagged teeth weren't going to cut it, so instead I made the Grateful Dead Steal Your Face logo. I have a picture of it somewhere, but I can't find it at the moment. Here's what the logo looks like:

So, just imagine that in pumpkin form, with a bit less detail, and carved by a teenager with not a whole lot of artistic talent. Anyway, it was the first time that I actually put a lot of time into carving a pumpkin, and the result was worth the effort, even though my parents didn't get it, and nobody else really cared. I even used toothpicks to carve out the details as best I could. It took a few hours, but I was proud of it.
     A few years later, I made Trogdor from the Strongbad online cartoon.
Here's the source picture:

Trogdor was pretty easy, though I messed up his arm a bit. Again, not perfect, but I was proud of it. It took a little bit of time to do, but not as much as the grateful Dead logo. Two years ago I did Jason Voorhees' mask from the Friday the 13th movies:
I'm pretty sure I got the stencil online, but I don't really remember. I think it turned out pretty well. Not perfect, but not bad for an amateur. I love the Friday the 13th movies, so this was a lot of fun to do. I drilled the holes with a skewer, which worked surprisingly well.

Last year I got married on Halloween night, so I didn't get to carve pumpkins. Maybe that's why I'm over-compensating so much this year... I decided to do two this year. It took me awhile to think of what to try to carve, but I decided on Hello Kitty for my wife, because she's big into Hello Kitty, and I did Jerry Only from the Misfits for myself.

 Hello Kitty finished pumpkin.


Jerry Only finished pumpkin.

   Hello Kitty is from a stencil that I got online at Cartoonjr.com. The stencil was a little too small though, so I drew the stencil on myself free hand. I think it turned out pretty well. I did make a mistake, but it's at least somewhat hard to notice. The whiskers and the bow were a bit challenging, but they turned out great I think. 

    My Jerry Only pumpkin is an adaptation of a logo that I got from Misfits.com.

 It's actually an homage to Shepard Fairey's artwork. He's most commonly known for his Andre the Giant "Obey" graffiti. He did a version that incorporated the Misfits' Crimson Ghost logo:
...so the Misfits created a Jerry Only version to re-pay the tribute. I had to change the design a bit, leaving out the nostril marks from the original design. And if you look closely enough, you can see where I had to use a toothpick to repair some structural damage... A piece broke off, so I toothpicked it back together. I'm pretty proud of this one anyhow. I've been trying to create a Misfits related pumpkin for awhile now, but I just haven't been able to pull it off. I've been trying to adapt the Crimson Ghost logo:

But I haven't been able to figure it out. I saw some awesome versions that others have done where they shaved the pumpkin instead of carving it, and I think that's really the only way to do the Crimson Ghost logo. But I've never tried to shave a pumpkin, so I tried to find something else Misfits related instead. I'm pretty happy with the end result. 

   After I finished those two, I decided to make a THIRD pumpkin. I found a Lionel Richie stencil online at Creativetypes.blogspot.com and I just couldn't resist. Here's the stencil:
And here's the finished product:

Not too bad... Although this ultimately was a complete failure. You can't really tell from the picture, but the entire face is held together with toothpicks. I made it too small, so that only two tiny chunks of pumpkin were holding it up. They snapped, and the whole face came off. It was a good pumpkin too; not many seeds or stringy bits. Though the exterior was a bit tougher than I anticipated. I had to go for it though, and the result is pretty amusing. You're supposed to carve out Hello underneath the head, but I didn't want to risk it.

   So, I spent a total of about 6 hours on pumpkins this year. Roughly two hours on each one. To my surprise, Jerry Only was the easiest to do of the three. Lionel Richie was the most difficult, but that's mostly my fault for not making the stencil larger. I made a mistake on each one, but I'm still proud of them; Jerry Only especially. I almost wish I could could do even more, but I don't really have the room for that many pumpkins, and the house already wreaks of pumpkin. That and, you really shouldn't spend more than $20 on pumpkins, unless you're either talented or a professional, and I'm neither.

   All in all, 3 decent pumpkins, using minimal tools.
Just a pumpkin scoop, a paring knife, a wooden skewer, a butcher knife, and two longer knives. I didn't even really use much more than the paring knife, except to cut the tops off. But once again, the skewer proved to be an invaluable tool. I used it to do nearly all of the Lionel Richie detail work. And the pumpkin scoop isn't really essential, but it does make things easier. I like that I have a cutesy, a somewhat scary, and a funny pumpkin this year. nice variety. And I'm getting better at it, mistakes aside.

  Anyway, hope you like my pumpkins. Thanks for reading, and have a fun Halloween. 

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Video Game Shame

   I've never been much of a gamer. As a kid, I had a Nintendo Entertainment System, then a Sega Genesis, a Game Boy, and a Gamegear. Remember the Gamegear?


What a beast. It was the size of two Game Boys. It took 6 aa batteries just to turn the thing on. 6! And they only lasted for 5 hours. Not even long enough for an average family vacation car trip. They actually sold an ac adapter for the Gamegear. Yeah, an ac adapter for a HANDHELD video game system. It was cool at the time, because it was the first color handheld system, which was a big step above the sepia tone Game Boy screen. The Game Gear also had a larger screen, which was nice. I remember having a magnifying glass/light add-on for my Game Boy because the screen was so small and dark at times... How geeky is that? And they made a tv adapter add-on for the Gamegear which allowed you to watch tv on your Gamegear. I didn't have that, but the idea of portable color tv that was also a gaming system was revolutionary at the time. But at the 6 batteries every 5 hours rate, I didn't play it much, nor did I have many games for it. 

    I didn't get a new system until college, when my parents bought me a Playstation 2. I didn't even ask for one, oddly enough. I guess they figured it wasn't normal for a kid to be content with an old video game system. Don't get me wrong, I appreciated it, and I still like Playstation 2 games. It was just unexpected. Although to be honest, I used it more as a dvd player than a video game system. Except for my Grand Theft Auto binges. My roommate Sophomore year had Grand Theft Auto 3 when it had first come out. He went to an exclusive pledge-only fraternity function and he let me play it while he was out. I ended up playing it all night long. He got back around 4Am, and I was still playing it. I was instantly hooked. And they followed that up with Vice City, which is still my favorite Grand Theft Auto game. It's basically interactive Scarface, down to the mansion being identical in the game and the movie. It is digitalized crack. The follow up, San Andreas, was fun too, but very glitchy. And then I met my now wife, and our video game worlds combined.

   She's definitely the gamer in our house. She got an Xbox 360, and I bought Grand Theft Auto IV for it. Still haven't finished that game. It's just so drastically different from the others. It's too much game for me. Eventually, we got a Wii. I think I've logged a total of 4 hours on a Wii in my lifetime. I get why people love it; it's just too much technology for me. Through eBay, we bought a Super Nintendo, and I still rarely ever play it. It was too much system for me back then, which is why I never bothered to get one, and it's still too much system for me now. I liked Sega. It had 3 buttons. Super Nintendo had 6. 6! The original Nintendo had 2. How do you jump from 2 buttons to 6? I still really don't know how I ever figured out a Playstation controller. And the controller is probably the main reason I stay away from Xbox 360, for the most part.

  I sometimes feel ashamed of my reluctance to jump on board the new technology train. I feel even more guilty when something new comes along that forces me to try it out. Like the game Dead Rising. Holy hand grenade do I love that game. It's so much fun. Which is why it has been extremely difficult resisting buying the sequel. I know if I wait long enough, it'll plummet in price. And I don't play video games often enough to really justify not waiting. But man... it's tempting.

   I really don't know what my problem is. Old man-itis perhaps? Could be. It takes me awhile to grasp new technology and trends. I just figured out Sudoku a couple of months ago. I didn't jump on board the Facebook fun bus until well into it's popularity. I never even had a Myspace page. I didn't even have a cell phone with a keyboard until this year. My wife's Droid phone scares me. Try to take a picture, and it wants me to talk to it instead. Hangs up my calls when they're complete without me pushing a button. Then again, my simple Verizon En v phone somehow changes my background picture, adds keypad mashed contacts and stores keypad mashed phone numbers while in keylock mode... Skynet is imminent, I tell you! It starts with these so-called smart phones. Just how smart are these wirey bastards? You call them applications, or "aps"; I call it military intelligence. Back in my day, four square was a game you played at recess, not an application that tells the world, "Hey, I'm not home! Come rob me!"

   Back to video games. I was dragged kicking and screaming into the World of Warcraft. My warrior is level 74, and unless I get some kind of divine video game intervention, he shall remain that way, because my patience with that blasted game is wearing thin. I'm trying so hard to catch up so I can finally play with my wife and her friends, my whole reason for trying it out to begin with, and in a few weeks yet another expansion will be released, pushing my character even further behind everyone else. And that's suggesting that if I even were able to catch up, I'd be able to play along. That's not the case at all. I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing on that game. I just click buttons, and things happen. Usually my character's frequent death...

  And when the modern games freighten me, I recoil back to my beloved 8 bit simplicity. Only, I play horrible games. Horrible games that I, for some inexplicable reason, actually enjoy playing. Like Friday the 13th. I love the movies, so there's some joy in living out the setting via video games. But by all accounts, it's one of the worst games ever made. The weapons arc over the enemies, the game play is super confusing at first, and Jason looks like he's wearing a purple tracksuit.


Not to mention, the ending is one of the worst in video game history. There is no big pay-off for beating the game. It's just as much of a b.s. ending as most of the endings in the movies. Is he dead? Maybe, maybe not. Who knows? End. And yet, I've played it so much that I can now beat it every time. There's even a trick to beat it in about 20 minutes or so. So why? Why do I keep playing it? It's like I have video game amnesia or something, and I think if I play it another 100 times, a secret chip will activate, turning it into a great game; a game worthy of the Friday the 13th name. One where you either actually encounter a difficult Jason who doesn't act like a Mike Tyson's Punch-Out reject character. Or better yet, lets you play as Jason, going around, coming up with unique methods of offing your prey. You couldn't do that back then, but nobody would blink an eye at the idea now. Just slap a MA warning sticker on it, and let me have at it.

   I do like that people like me actually have a hip title for our reluctance to embrace new technology. We're called "retro" gamers. That sounds much better than freightened old men scared that robots might come and steal their Ensure drinks, Bingo chips and Social Security cards...  

Monday, October 11, 2010

Do Social Networks Threaten the Relevance of Reunions?

  My 10 year high school reunion was last weekend. I did not attend. For one, I was in North Carolina that morning for a family reunion, and Virginia Beach that night because we were given free tickets to the symphony. I also didn't really see how the $150 per couple ticket price for the reunion was justified. It was at a mid-range hotel (i.e. not roach infested, but not exactly the Ritz either), in one of the banquet rooms judging from the pictures, with a dj, a hastily thrown together banner, and some semblence of a bar. If I'm going to be completely honest, I also didn't go because I'm embarassed by certain aspects of my life right now, i.e. being a college graduate who can only obtain a temp job. Not to mention the bald spot and grey hair. But another reason, and one that may make me sound unintentionally snobbish, is that I've kept up with my true high school friends on Facebook. Those who I consider to be good friends have made an effort to keep in touch. And if we want to see each other in person, we make plans to do so.

   Facebook has also allowed me to keep in touch with casual aquaintances in a non-awkward way. Which, afterall, is a big reason for going to reunions; what does he look like now? Is she still cute? What has he done with his life? etc. All of those questions can be answered on Facebook, and from the privacy and safety of your own home. In fact, Facebook allows you to catch up with far more people than you would at a reunion. The lucky ones moved far away from the area of my high school. And in today's economy, not many can afford a trip back to our old stomping grounds. But Facebook is free, and doesn't require any travel, and many of my former classmates that were able to escape are on Facebook.

   Ok, maybe that's an anti-social point of view. It would be nice to see those people again in person, admittedly. I wouldn't mind catching up with my former football team mates, or theater buddies, or journalism crew members. And social networks can't compete with person to person communication and physical contact. You can reminisce and share memories through Facebook, but they're not instantaneous unless the other person happens to be on at the exact same time. And it's hard to judge emotions when reading text, despite the revolutionary cultural breakthrough that is the emoticon. But are you really laughing out loud, or are you awkwardly politely chuckling? One can't tell from a simple "lol." And a winky smiley face could easily be misinterpreted. Is it a flirt, or did you just forget to hold down the shift key? Such issues are cured by physical contact. When the hot cheerleader turned unhappy divorcee mother of two, now double fisting Coronas like they're a lifesource hands you her hotel room key, the signal is pretty clear. And a physical reunion only happens once every few years or so. One night of awkwardness, eased by beverage consumption and genuine desired reconnection.

Conversely, adding someone to Facebook is somewhat of a commitment. Do you leave a happy birthday message when their birthday notification pops up? Do you join their Mafia, or ask them to join yours? Do you help fertilize their farm? Does replying "maybe" to all of their invitations to their band's gigs give them a false sense of hope? Is it more polite to just ignore the invitations, realizing that it's a mass invite, and not a personal outreach? When is it ok to leave a snarky yet funny comment in reply to a Facebook status? Not to mention the social etiquette behind the "like" button. Heaven help us if the "dislike" button is ever created...

  One advantage that Facebook does have over a high school reunion is the ability to reunite with people outside of your graduating class. Nothing against my graduating class, but I was friends with classes above and below me more than I was within my own graduating class. If somehow a reunion could incorporate everyone that was in the school my junior or senior year, that would be awesome. Facebook can do that. It also allows us to set up individual groups, thus restoring the natural clique order that was high school, instead of forcing us to try to mingle with and relate to those who gave us a hard time, or completely ignored us while we were in school, now filled with a false sense of nostalgia and unprecidented comradery.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

My Top 3 Creepiest Scenes from Horror Movies

  I listen to a podcast called Shitty Movie Night. It's basically a group of friends who sit around and discuss, well, shitty movies. It's a really fun podcast, and you should check it out if you're at all interested in bad movies. Anyhow... They started doing a question of the month for their listeners, and October's question is, what one scene from a movie creeps you out the most? I couldn't choose just one. I have three.

1. The Spider Walk scene from The Exorcist: The Version You've Never Seen

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-4f_NMUxcY&feature=related

There are a few different versions of The Exorcist; hence the "The Version You've Never Seen" subtitle. It was released years after the original version, and it contains deleted scenes and added footage, and an alternate ending. Oddly enough, "The Version You've Never Seen" is the only version I've seen. And my first time seeing the film was at a midnight showing in a local old movie theater called The Byrd Theater. Which is really the perfect setting for a movie like The Exorcist. Although the chairs are pretty rough... Anyway, The Exorcist really creeped me out. I had to act tough, as I was there with a group of my female friends (one of whom, my now wife, I was trying to impress) but I stayed up until around 5 am after watching it, because it creeped me out. The spider walk scene was cut from the original, allegedly because it was too terrifying for audiences. The more likely reason is because it didn't really flow with the story. But that's what made seeing it so creepy; it comes out of nowhere, lasts only a few seconds, and is completely bizarre. The upside down, sped up walk is scary enough, but it's capped off with her spitting up blood. And to see it for the first time, not expecting it, on a big screen was really unique and memorable.

2. The "blood orgy" scene from Event Horizon

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Su54aO1muOg

It's a little difficult to talk about this scene without spoiling the movie, but I'll try. In a nutshell, a reconnaissance team is sent to an abandoned ship to try to find out what happened to the first crew. Eventually they find recorded footage from the original crew's log, though it's very distorted and unclear. It sounds, at first, like the crew is saying "liberate me," or "save me." But eventually the technology wizard on board is able to restore more of the footage, and they discover that the crew was really saying, "liberate me ex inferis," or "save yourselves from hell." I saw Event Horizon in the theater when I was a teenager, and for some reason, this scene really got under my skin. I think it's the combination of the Latin words, which are creepy in and of themselves, mixed with the discombobulated gore, shot in a way that you really can't see what's going on; you just know that it's bad. Really, really bad. And then after all of the disorienting craziness, the crew member holds his eyes in his hands, like it's no big deal, and recites Latin. Creepy... 

3. The final scene in Sleepaway Camp

It's pretty much impossible to talk about this scene without spoiling the entire reason to watch the film. At any rate, this is the final shot in the film. And as you can see, it's creepy. Even without sound, or video footage, it's creepy. And it holds on this shot for over a minute, then it turns into a negative of the shot, in a green tint... and that makes it even creepier. What's even creepier? This is a mold of the actress' face, put on top of someone else's body. Because it doesn't move like a real person, it's even creepier, especially since she's making noises like a feral animal in this scene. In general, Sleepaway Camp isn't a very scary movie. In fact, it's pretty goofy. But this last shot really makes it a legit horror movie. 

Friday, October 8, 2010

Are Physical Media Stores Becoming Obsolete?

     I miss record shops; good record shops that have both new and used releases, on multiple formats. Richmond is lucky enough to still have Plan 9 Records, which is exactly that, but I can't always get out to Plan 9, even though it's only about a 25 minute drive. Parking in Richmond is also famously bad. So when I do get to go, it's a treat, and I generally spend at least $50. But my once a year pilgrimage is not often enough to keep them in business. They're still holding strong, and I'm thankful for that, but realistically... who knows. They're mostly used vinyl now, and that's just such a niche market. Same thing with movies. The cool mom and pop video stores are pretty much extinct, and even Blockbuster is hanging on for dear life. My buddy used to work at Hollywood Video, where I'd go in and talk movies with him and his co-workers, who turned me on to lots of cool titles. That store has been closed for years now, and nothing has taken its place. All of the original signs are still up, and the racks are still inside the store. But it's a barren wasteland.

      When I first came to Richmond in 1995, Circuit City had an AMAZING music section, with import albums that I'd never seen or heard of before, and all of the new releases, as well as a well stocked back catalogue for even somewhat obscure bands, for reasonable prices. And within a short time, their music section was reduced to about two rows to make room for dvd racks. And now, Circuit City is bankrupt, and only a memory. I went to Best Buy on Wednesday to see if they had the Slumberparty Massacre collection. They didn't, which wasn't a huge surprise to me really. Their horror section is one row, and one entire shelve of that row is devoted to the latest Twilight release. And Slumberparty Massacre isn't exactly a hot title to anyone other than us horror geeks. And even then, it's mostly us horror geeks old enough to have heard of it. But what really struck me was how little dvd Best Buy carries now. Blu-Ray has taken over and is muscling out standard dvd.

        That's inevitable, I suppose, but I don't intend to make the jump to Blu-Ray anytime soon, so it's disappointing to me. I prefer having options. I don't like being forced to assimilate into the latest flashy technology. Because in my opinion, while movies like Avatar are undoubtedly enhanced by Blu-Ray, do I really need to see a cartoon in high definition? Wouldn't that just be the artist coming to your house and drawing something for you? And I'm definitely not technology savvy enough to understand how movies that weren't filmed in high definition can be transferred to Blu-Ray. And frankly, I'm not sure I really want them to be. For instance, I'm a big fan of the Twilight Zone episodes. The black and white aesthetic adds to the creepy factor. And it's already obvious when watching those episodes which ones were filmed in the 60's and later, when Technicolor was the standard, and which ones were filmed before the advent of Technicolor. The later episodes just don't look natural. They look like they were made to look black and white, instead of just being black and white. So Blu-Ray, I would think, would make all of the episodes look unnatural. It's like when George Lucas decided to add crap to the original Star Wars trilogy, and re-release them as a "special edition," just because he had the resources to do so. I've kept my original VHS copies of the trilogy, because they're much, much better without all of the added bells and whistles.

       But just because stores are shutting down, dvd is being replaced with Blu-Ray, and physical cds are being replaced with MP3 downloads doesn't mean that people no longer want that "old" technology. I still, and will always, prefer a physical album over a download. And if I can't buy it at a store, I don't mind waiting to have it shipped. Today I ordered a shirt from a band called the Dollyrots. They're not well known enough to be carried in the chain stores like Best Buy, so I can't run out and buy their album. I could download it on iTunes, but I don't want to. I want to read the booklet and see the album artwork. And I'm against illegal downloads, especially when it's a young band that's trying to make it, and that deserves an audience much more than many of the popular bands. Anyway, I ordered a shirt from the band's official website. And they have a deal right now that if you order a shirt for $15, you get your choice of one of their albums along with it for free. So I get a shirt to promote the band, and I get a copy of their album, and I'm buying directly from the band, so they'll see the majority of the money from the sale. And all I have to do is wait a little while for it to be shipped.
    
       And the only reason I know about the Dollyrots is because I listen to a podcast called the Plan Nine Rock Show. It doesn't have anything to do with Plan Nine Records, oddly enough, but the host is personal friends with the band, and he plays their music pretty often. He also was the artist who was commissioned to create the Dollyrots' newest shirt design. So by buying the shirt, I'm supporting the band as well as the podcast host, because if they sell enough shirts, they'll likely ask him to design for them again. And I wouldn't have known about the Plan Nine Rock Show if it wasn't for the Rock and Roll Geek Show podcast, another of my favorites. It's admittedly a little strange that digital downloads lead to my buying physical media, I suppose. But I'd much rather spend the $20 to support two artists who deserve more recognition than to plunk down $13 "space bucks" to download it on iTunes, who couldn't care less if it's the Dollyrots that made the sale or if it's Justin Beiber.

     I've tried to abstain from eBay lately, because it's very easy for me to get lost on there, and before I know it, I've racked up $100 or more in bids and winnings. But I hopped on today, because... well, because I love eBay. Instead of driving around town to the last remaining "cool" stores that might have what I'm looking for, I can just search for it on eBay, and it'll find it for me, usually with several options. Just today I found a split 7" record that I didn't even know existed, from a band that not many people outside of the local punk scene have even heard of. And I got it for $5. With shipping. And I'm in a bid for a Halloween costume that's $55 at the store. It's currently at $17 on eBay. As much as I enjoy the seasonal hHalloween stores that spring up every year (ironically enough, in an old out-of-business Christian store...), $55 is pretty steep for a Halloween costume. To think that I could get it for less than half that price...

   Internet shopping can be a double edged sword sometimes though, as things that were reasonably priced in their heyday are now demanding top dollar. Especially records... I keep hoping to find White Zombie's Astrocreep 2000 album, or Primus' The Brown Album on vinyl for less than $100, but it's not meant to be. I have both of them on cd already, which is why it really doesn't make sense. I love those albums, and I have them already, so why am I DETERMINED to get them on vinyl? Especially when they're going for $100 each? The thrill of the hunt, to some extent. Insanity, perhaps. But also because I'm not likely to find them anywhere else. If I want them, the internet is my only legitimate resource. Unless I take a trip across the country, stopping at every remaining independent record shop I find, and get lucky enough to find a copy.

     EBay and the internet are fantastic resources for finding old things that most people don't care about anymore. But I find myself buying most of my new music on the internet as well these days. More and more, bands are taking to Facebook and Twitter to offer unique deals to their fans. Whereas a few years ago, I rushed out to Best Buy to pick up the newest Gwar album, I've bought directly from the band's website for their last albums, and I've pre-ordered their upcoming album from the website, because they offered exclusive bonuses for buying through the website. Bonuses you can't get elsewhere, like an autographed cd booklet with the last album, and an autographed lithograph for their upcoming album. You won't find that at Best Buy or through iTunes. Although Best Buy, to their credit, often has exclusive packaging and bonus discs of live songs and such.

So I guess in the end, physical store or not, the music industry and movie industry will continue to claim my money and my soul.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Concert Wishlist

   Judging from my last entry, I'm clearly running low on ideas and creativity at the moment. Therefore, I shall resort to the lowest form of journalism: lists. This list is my concert wishlist; bands that I haven't seen live, but want to before they retire, or I'm too old.

1. AC/DC. I only own two AC/DC albums, but one of them is AC/DC Live, and it really captures how fun an AC/DC show seems to be. I've also seen plenty of live clips of the band, and they've still got it. Their setlists are mostly filled with the hit songs, which is perfect for me, as I consider myself to be a pretty casual fan. I know that Bon Scott was the original singer, I know they're Australian, and I can name most of the band members. But I don't know every song, and only have two albums. Maybe seeing them live would make me an even bigger fan. And if not, I'd still love to hear Thunderstruck live.

2. Aerosmith. The window to see Aerosmith play live is shutting quickly, it seems, with Steven Tyler signed on to American Idol, and Joe Perry growing increasingly more frustrated with Tyler's lack of commitment to the band. So my desire to see Aerosmith is somewhat conditional. If the stars align, and Steven Tyler changes his mind about playing Toys In the Attic, or Rocks, or one of their good albums in their entirety, instead of crap like I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing, I'm on board. If not, well... at least there's still those good albums to listen to. And Joe Perry is still passionate about the music, so if Aerosmith calls it quits, there's still the Joe Perry Project.

3. Alice Cooper.  I've been kind of obsessing over Alice Cooper lately, having finally bought some of his classic albums recently. And he's been touring with Rob Zombie, which would be double plus good, as I'm a big White Zombie fan, and Rob's live shows are still fun (though his last solo album was pretty horrible.) Alice is the king of the theatrical concert stage show. Nearly every modern shock rock band owes their career to Alice. I'd love to see him before he calls it quits.

4. Anthrax. I'm a pretty casual Anthrax fan, so I probably wouldn't go out of my way to see just an Anthrax show, to be honest. But they're playing with Megadeth and Slayer at the moment, and that would be one hell of a show. Unfortunately, the closest they're playing is Hampton, about a 2 hour drive from Richmond, and it's a weekday show. Maybe someday I'll catch them, preferably with other good bands on the bill as well.

5. Avail. They're a local favorite, so their shows seem to sell out very quickly. Their last album was in 2002, and by all accounts, they're in an indefinite hiatus, leaning more toward definite than indefinite. Still, it'd be cool to catch a piece of legendary Richmond punk rock history in concert.

6. Bad Brains. Another casual fandom band for me, as I only have one album thus far. And their heyday is long past, admittedly, but still... it'd be cool to actually see H.R. sing as fast as he can, and to hear those classic songs, and experience real punk rock royalty.

7. Beck. I just think he'd put on a really fun show. I'd have to familiarize myself with his more recent music though, unless he plays Odelay top to bottom...

8. Blind Melon. Even without Shannon Hoon, those are some great songs. And the new singer is very capable, judging from the Youtube videos. An under-appreciated band, for sure. Which makes me think I could catch a show for a reasonable ticket price.

9. Blue Man Group. I actually have their first album, and I really like it. I think they'd be a blast to see live.

10. Blur. It seems like Blur never really got the appreciation they deserve in the U.S. I've liked their music for a long time, and I'm a little disappointed that the focus has shifted to members' side projects, such as Gorillaz. But they're still together, which means I still have a chance to hear them play songs like Country House and Charmless Man live someday. (Ok, I'd rock out to Song 2, their biggest U.S. hit, as well, I won't lie...)

11, Buckethead. Released from Guns 'n Roses before the new album even came out, which sucks. But it should mean that he has time on his hands. Time to tour. He's played Richmond in the past, but I couldn't go, unfortunately. Hope I get another chance.

12. Busta Rhymes. I'm not a huge hip hop fan, and I've never been to a hip hop show. But I am a Busta fan, and I think he'd be pretty fun to see. I have to experience a hip hop show at some point; why not Busta?

13. Cake. I've missed them a few times, and that bums me out. Everyone that I talked to that went said they were great. I believe it.

14. Cannibal Corpse. They played with Marilyn Manson and Slayer, and I went... but we got there too late to see Cannibal Corpse, unfortunately. They're another one of those "experience" bands; a band that I want to experience to see how it is. I'm a fan of the music as well, and they're a Buffalo band. Being from Syracuse originally, they hold a place in my heart.

15. Chicago. Chicago IX Greatest Hits was one of my absolute favorite albums as a kid. I know the lineup has changed ad infinitum, but hearing 25 or 6 to 4 played live would be one of the greatest moments in my life, no matter who's playing it.

16. Children of Bodom. One of my favorite "new", i.e. modern, metal bands. And yet they still don't seem to get the love they deserve. Maybe it's difficult for them to play in the U.S., but if I get a chance to see them, I'll take it.

17. Eric Clapton.  Chances are slim, as Clapton tickets are pricey and highly coveted. And the closest he seems to come to Richmond is Washington, DC. But if he plays mostly hits, and I believe that's what he does, I'd love to see it someday.

18. Courtney Love. I had a chance, and I had to pass due to lack of funds. I would prefer a proper Hole reunion, with Eric Erlandson and Melissa Auf Der Maur, and Samantha Maloney, if not Patty Schemel. But if I can't have that, I'd love to see Courtney. I think she's a great artist, and a great singer. And I love those songs.

19. Cranberries.  I love the Cranberries. Not sure if they're still playing shows, but if so, I hope to catch them sometime.

20. Dropkick Murphys. I missed them a couple of months back, but I'd love to see them play.

21. Flaming Lips. Their shows look like a blast.

22. Fleetwood Mac. A guilty pleasure, for sure, but hearing Lindsey Buckingham and Stevie Nicks play Landslide and Big Love would be life changing. But talk about pricey and coveted tickets...

23. Garbage. Shirley Manson. In person. Do I really need another reason? Fine. Butch Vig. And great songs.

24. Gojira. Another of my favorite "new" metal bands. Another one that doesn't seem to tour the U.S. much...  

25. Henry Rollins. I had tickets, but couldn't go. Ideally, it'd be to see him play music, either with some form of Black Flag, or Rollins Band. But it seems like he's moved on from music, and I'm ok with that. I have a bunch of his spoken word albums, books, and dvds, and even though our political views differ, I'd love to see his stand up show. He always has great stories.

26. Iron Maiden. They alternate between hits tours and most recent album tours. I'd need to catch a hits tour, though the most recent album is pretty good. Anyway, they're a great band that I haven't yet seen. I hope to change that, if they ever come further down than Baltimore or DC...

27. Jackyl. Chainsaws and metal? I'm in.

28. Judas Priest. Again, preferably on a greatest hits tour. But they're a legendary metal band, and they're still rocking.

29. Kittie. I've had a few chances to see them, and I've had to pass each time. I still want to though.

30. Leftover Crack. I'm not actually sure if they're still together, or playing shows if they are. But if they are, it'd be a fun show to catch.

31. Les Claypool. I was fortunate enough to see Primus this year, finally. So technically, I have seen Les Claypool live. But now I want to see him solo, with one of his many solo bands. They tend to be a little more jam band than the weird metal that Primus plays, which means more bass and experimental freedom.

32. Meat Puppets. I had a chance to see them on my birthday, years ago.But I had final exam the next day, so I couldn't. Also had a chance to see them more recently, but again, schooling got in the way. Someday the fates will align, and I will see them. I LOVED their most recent album, Sewn Together. I MUST see them.

33. Megadeth. Pretty much the same deal as Anthrax, though I'm a bigger Megadeth fan, and would see them play by themselves.

34. Melvins. Not a huge fan, but I'd like to see them. Especially if they play with Jello Biafra again.

35. Metallica. I used to be a huge Metallica fan. My fandom has wained in the last few years, admittedly, but they still play mostly their best songs. I'd rather see them with Jason Newstead, but that won't happen, and Robert Trujilo is a great player in his own right. There's still enough fanboy in me to want to see them.

36. Nada Surf. Not sure if they still tour, but if they do, I'm in.

37. Neil Young. I like Neil Young.

38. New York Dolls. Great band that still delivers. If only they'd deliver themselves to Virginia...

39. Nine Inch Nails. Another doubtful scenario, and not just because they're on indefinite hiatus from touring. Still, I'd like to hear those songs.

40. Phish. An experience for sure, as I'm admittedly not hugely familiar with their music. But their shows seem like a good time. Thousands of stinky hippies can't be wrong.

41. Pixies. They're back, and I'm stoked. Especially since they've been playing Doolittle, my favorite Pixies album. But alas, nowhere near Richmond. Yet.

42. Radiohead. They've scheduled two Virginia shows in the last 10 years or something, and they've both been rained out/cancelled. So, I'm not holding my breath. But, I'm a big fan. So I will still hold a hope.

43. Rammstein. Well, my mom has become a big fan... which is weird and disturbing. Still, Rammstein would be fun. Especially if I could somehow see them in their native Germany, with the fire show intact.

44. Rancid. I dig 'em. Would like to see them live.

45. Sepultura.  I'd really only be interested if Igor and Max return. Which I doubt will happen, but if it did, I'm on board.

46. Smashing Pumpkins. Again, only if there were a full on reunion. Which will probably never happen.

47. Sonic Youth. Great band. Never seen them.

48. Stooges. Unlike most, I really liked The Weirdness. They're a legendary band, and I must see them.

49. They Might be Giants. They did play here fairly recently, so there's a chance. It'd be a nerdy good time.

50. Violent Femmes. Not sure if they're still doing shows. They were scheduled to play here years ago, but it was inexplicably expired. Hopefully they'll do a make-up date at some point.

51. White Stripes. Meg's cute in my opinion, so that's a reason. But they also play good songs, and decide their playlist as they're playing, which keeps things unexpected and interesting. 

52. X. Another band that I'm not sure still plays shows. Exene was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis recently. But if they do, I'd love to see them.

53. Yeah Yeah Yeahs. I really liked their first ep. Lost track of them after a couple of albums, but they seem like they're a good live band. 

 

Monday, October 4, 2010

Does Nintendo Lead to Atheism?

   My original Nintendo Entertainment System, purchased circa 1989, still works over 20 years later. Conversely, my wife and I have had to send in our Xbox 360 once so far due to a red ring of death (i.e. system failure), my 1999 Ford Ranger needs about $1,000 worth of work, and just today the windshield wipers decided to stop working, my wife has had to replace her iPod twice, and we don't have a cure for the common cold.

   When a Nintendo game didn't work, you took it out, and blew into it, or at worst, used a Q-tip to swab out the dust. And it worked nearly every time. Every game I owned back then still works today. When a car part stops working, you have to take it into the shop, and pay generally large amounts of money for time consuming work. When a body part stops working, you go to the doctor, or the hospital, and it's the same situation.

   What's my point? We were given the knowledge to create a Nintendo Entertainment System that could be fixed; cured, if you will, simply by blowing into it, yet we can't figure out how to cure cancer. Why not give those responsible for creating and building the NES the knowledge to be doctors instead? Imagine blowing into an incision, and instantly curing all illness. Serious illness? Grab a cotton swab. Mario would still exist. We'd still have our 8-bit video game system, but maybe it wouldn't work quite so well. Maybe it would break down every now and then, like the modern systems are wont to do. I think that'd be a fair trade off for affordable health care.

  I'm not suggesting that the existence of the NES disproves the existence of God. But certainly it raises questions. Also, what kind of God would allow the creation of games like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? Then again, we were given games like Legend of Zelda, Super Mario Brothers 3, Mike Tyson' Punch-Out, Contra, Mega Man 2, etc. So, maybe God gave us the knowledge to create the NES so we would learn to appreciate the little things in life down the line. In a world with controllers featuring upwards of 10 different buttons, the controller featuring 4 prevails. We wanted more, more, more, and were given systems, games and accessories that aren't worth their weight in cardboard these days. The Powerglove, the Sega CD add-on, the Sega 32X add-on, the Nintendo Gamecube, the Sega Gamegear, the Super Game Boy... All failed experiments in technology, all abominations of mankind, and all sins against God. Then again, those systems/accessories didn't sell well, and eventually, we were rewarded with the Playstation 2 and Xbox 360, even though the Xbox 360 gets red rings of death, and the Playstation 2 was relatively quickly replaced by the Playstation 3... which requires even more expensive technology in order to be used to its full potential... False idols? Well, not until the next big video game systems come along...

Friday, October 1, 2010

Music Nerd Confessional #4

  Forgive me, music nerds, for I have sinned. It has been almost a month since my last confession. My confession is this: I'm not a very big Rolling Stones fan.

  Like Kiss, I appreciate their place in music history, and the fact that they've influenced many, many bands that I like. But for whatever reason, I've just never loved the Rolling Stones. Again, it could be a generational thing, in that I like the bands that were inspired by them, but not the source itself. They wrote some great songs, and I love those songs, particularly Angie and Paint It Black, but I don't own any Rolling Stones albums, and I've never felt compelled to check them out in depth.

   To me, Keith Richards is a marvel of modern science, the fact that he's still living, but not a marvel on guitar. Sure, Satisfaction is a cool riff, and one that lead to the creation of many other cool riffs from guitarists who were inspired by it. But if I don't hear Satisfaction ever again, I'll be ok with it. Conversely, I still like hearing Smells Like Teen Spirit, even though I've heard it 1,000 times now.

   There's an old theory that people are either Beatles or Rolling Stones fans, just as there are introverts and extroverts, as if preference for one band over the other indicates the personality type of a person. Maybe that's true, because I do like The Beatles far more than I like the Rolling Stones. But even then, I'm not a crazed Beatles fan. I like the music they created after Beatlemania died down, when they were experimenting musically, socially and spiritually, and, consequently, when they were growing scruffy facial hair... At the same time, I dismiss any "best album ever" list if they list The Beatles' Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band as #1. It's a classic, no doubt, but there have been far better albums released since, by both The Beatles as well as others. Which brings me back to the Rolling Stones; they're fine for what they are, but there are better bands out there, and there were better bands that existed at the same time as the Rolling Stones, who should have gotten much more attention than the Rolling Stones.

  Oddly enough, I had a Rolling Stones shirt when I was a kid. It was one of their tour shirts I think, with the lips and tongue logo in an Andy Warhol style montage. My grandparents gave it to me, which I've always thought was odd, because they were too old to be into that kind of music, and I have no idea where they got it. I wore it though, with very bad 90's swim trunks... There is photographic evidence... In retrospect, I feel bad for wearing it, having zero knowledge of its meaning. Like kids today buying Ramones shirts, or things with the Misfits' Crimson Ghost logo on them, having no idea what it all means. I had no clue who the Rolling Stones were then; I just liked the logo. I was more of a Beach Boys guy back then. Well, Beach Boys, Ritchie Valens, Miami Sound machine, Chicago (the band, not the musical), Air Supply (Lay off! I still defend my love for Air Supply.), and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cassette tape that I got from Pizza Hut...

  I don't begrudge anyone for liking the Rolling Stones. But seriously, shouldn't they have called it quits decades ago? Enjoy retirement. Use your senior citizen discount. Get Keith a new liver. Go antiquing. Play some shuffleboard. Eat pudding at 4 in the afternoon, and call it a night at 6. You've earned it. At least God finally stepped in and stopped them from fathering more illegitimate children. But seriously, it's time to hang up the lips, before the lyrics to Brown Sugar are changed to "Brown Sugar. The nurses say I shouldn't eat it anymore..."

  As penance, I shall say 10 hail Lemmy's, and keep my appreciation for Air Supply to myself.