Do Social Networks Threaten the Relevance of Reunions?

  My 10 year high school reunion was last weekend. I did not attend. For one, I was in North Carolina that morning for a family reunion, and Virginia Beach that night because we were given free tickets to the symphony. I also didn't really see how the $150 per couple ticket price for the reunion was justified. It was at a mid-range hotel (i.e. not roach infested, but not exactly the Ritz either), in one of the banquet rooms judging from the pictures, with a dj, a hastily thrown together banner, and some semblence of a bar. If I'm going to be completely honest, I also didn't go because I'm embarassed by certain aspects of my life right now, i.e. being a college graduate who can only obtain a temp job. Not to mention the bald spot and grey hair. But another reason, and one that may make me sound unintentionally snobbish, is that I've kept up with my true high school friends on Facebook. Those who I consider to be good friends have made an effort to keep in touch. And if we want to see each other in person, we make plans to do so.

   Facebook has also allowed me to keep in touch with casual aquaintances in a non-awkward way. Which, afterall, is a big reason for going to reunions; what does he look like now? Is she still cute? What has he done with his life? etc. All of those questions can be answered on Facebook, and from the privacy and safety of your own home. In fact, Facebook allows you to catch up with far more people than you would at a reunion. The lucky ones moved far away from the area of my high school. And in today's economy, not many can afford a trip back to our old stomping grounds. But Facebook is free, and doesn't require any travel, and many of my former classmates that were able to escape are on Facebook.

   Ok, maybe that's an anti-social point of view. It would be nice to see those people again in person, admittedly. I wouldn't mind catching up with my former football team mates, or theater buddies, or journalism crew members. And social networks can't compete with person to person communication and physical contact. You can reminisce and share memories through Facebook, but they're not instantaneous unless the other person happens to be on at the exact same time. And it's hard to judge emotions when reading text, despite the revolutionary cultural breakthrough that is the emoticon. But are you really laughing out loud, or are you awkwardly politely chuckling? One can't tell from a simple "lol." And a winky smiley face could easily be misinterpreted. Is it a flirt, or did you just forget to hold down the shift key? Such issues are cured by physical contact. When the hot cheerleader turned unhappy divorcee mother of two, now double fisting Coronas like they're a lifesource hands you her hotel room key, the signal is pretty clear. And a physical reunion only happens once every few years or so. One night of awkwardness, eased by beverage consumption and genuine desired reconnection.

Conversely, adding someone to Facebook is somewhat of a commitment. Do you leave a happy birthday message when their birthday notification pops up? Do you join their Mafia, or ask them to join yours? Do you help fertilize their farm? Does replying "maybe" to all of their invitations to their band's gigs give them a false sense of hope? Is it more polite to just ignore the invitations, realizing that it's a mass invite, and not a personal outreach? When is it ok to leave a snarky yet funny comment in reply to a Facebook status? Not to mention the social etiquette behind the "like" button. Heaven help us if the "dislike" button is ever created...

  One advantage that Facebook does have over a high school reunion is the ability to reunite with people outside of your graduating class. Nothing against my graduating class, but I was friends with classes above and below me more than I was within my own graduating class. If somehow a reunion could incorporate everyone that was in the school my junior or senior year, that would be awesome. Facebook can do that. It also allows us to set up individual groups, thus restoring the natural clique order that was high school, instead of forcing us to try to mingle with and relate to those who gave us a hard time, or completely ignored us while we were in school, now filled with a false sense of nostalgia and unprecidented comradery.