I'm A Sucker For "Campy" Horror Movies

  Friday the 13th is my favorite horror movie series. They're stupid; there's no getting around that fact, but they're fun. And part of the charm is their summer camp setting. Like most kids, I went to summer camp. But I only ever went to day camp. In retrospect, perhaps Friday the 13th was the reason I didn't want to stay for sleepaway camp....

   Good thing I hadn't yet seen the Sleepaway Camp horror series back then, or I probably wouldn't have gone to day camp either. Never heard of the Sleepaway Camp movies? I don't blame you. They're definitely cult classics, and they're pretty much for hardened cheesy horror movie buffs only. I remember seeing the box covers at the video rental stores; more specifically the video rental section at Price Chopper, a grocery store in Syracuse, NY. Yeah, you used to be able to rent movies and Nintendo games at the grocery store. Anyway... The Sleepaway Camp box covers always intrigued me, but back then there was no way my parents would have let me see them. I had to get my horror movie fixes on late night tv, or friends who were allowed to watch them. But these movies didn't come on tv, and none of my friends had them, so I didn't see them until many, many years later. Gotta love eBay...

  I have a steel trap mind when it comes to useless things, like music history and obscure memories from childhood, and thus I remembered those classic box covers and titles. And when I discovered eBay, I figured why not look to see if anyone was selling a beat up vhs copy. To my surprise, they actually released all three original movies in a nice box set package.

   The box set includes Sleepaway Camp, Sleepaway Camp II: Unhappy Campers, Sleepaway Camp III: Teenage Wasteland, and the production footage for the abandoned Sleepaway Camp IV: Survivor.

   Sleepaway Camp is the best of the set. Which is to say, it's the most watchable. The acting is very poor, it's very, very New Jersey, and it's very very 80's... down to the Steve Perry look-alike, short shorts, and half shirts galore.

Steve Perry

Steve Perry look-alike, in short shorts

Half-shirt

   But the plot is actually somewhat interesting. A little girl, a little boy, and their father are on their boat, when it tips over. At the same time, some teenage counselors are goofing around on their boat, and they strike the family's boat, killing the father and at least one of the children. Years later, the surviving child goes off to summer camp. And people start dying in horrific ways. A simple plot, but it turns into a murder mystery of sorts, with a few different suspects. Though, it's pretty easy to tell who is behind the killings. The real surprise lies in the ending. I won't spoil it, but it's definitely what keeps this film in the minds and hearts of genre fans. And the last shot is just really, really creepy. Also, it was dedicated to someone's mom. Seriously.

  A "doer"? That's the best tribute you can come up with for your mom? And you slap it onto a b grade horror movie? With several gay themes and senseless violence? Hope she was supportive of your art before you made this thing... 

  It's cheese; no doubt about that. The kills are unrealistic, and at times illogical, like when a boy is trapped in a toilet stall and killed by a hornet's nest... even though he could have easily crawled out under the door, or broken the door down with a bit of force. And what kind of summer camp allows rooftop water balloon fights? Seriously...

  Apart from the plot twist at the end, Sleepaway Camp is pretty standard slasher fair. No doubt it rode the coattails of Friday the 13th's popularity, and there are obvious similarities, though they are different films in many ways as well. You have a body count, the kills are unconventional, and at first nobody knows who's doing it. It follows the goatee rule too. The camp's chef, clearly the most despicable character in the movie, a child raping pedophile, is the only one with a goatee.

And he's not killed. Instead, he's badly burned over most of his body when a gigantic pot of boiling water is dumped on him. For the last time, goatee does not equal evil, ok?! Anyhow... On to part 2.

 
  Part 2 is much different from part 1. It was directed and written by different people, and it shows. The director, Michael A. Simpson, takes pride in being a cult movie director. There's nothing wrong with that, and part 1 isn't exactly Citizen Kane by comparison, but it's such a drastic drop in quality regardless. It has more humor, boobies, and Bruce Springsteen's kid sister in the lead role. But everything else is essentially the same, only done more poorly. Corpses twitch and blink, the blood is clearly ketchup and paint, and a large branch is used at least three times as a murder weapon/blunt instrument. The acting is somehow even worse, though Pamela Springsteen gives a fairly passable performance. This is the box cover that really piqued my young interest. I had yet to see any of the Nightmare On Elm Street or Friday the 13th films at the time, but like most boys my age, I still knew about them, if only in the most base of terms. So here was a cover, featuring Jason's mask AND Freddy's glove... this HAS to be an awesome movie, right?

  Not really. It's watchable, but only just barely. There's no mystery this time. The killer is established from moment one. There's no thought provoking twist either. And the plot... I'm not sure there is one. The killer from part 1 returns to a new camp, and starts killing again. The end. It's extremely derivative, to the point where they eventually don't try to hide it.

There's Freddy...

Jason...

Leatherface...

Even a drill used as a murder weapon, like in Slumberparty Massacre.



 There are far worse horror movies and slasher films out there. That's about the best compliment I can give part 2, though it seems to be the fan favorite. On to part 3.

 
  Part 3 is pretty much unwatchable. The killer is back, again, at a new camp, again. Only this time, they didn't even have the budget for a camp. They just wrote it into the script that the new camp would be completely outdoors, sleeping in tents in the woods. It incorporates one of the biggest cliches in the business; the coming together of "inner city" youths with spoiled brat rich kids. It's bad. Really bad. And that's really all I have to say about it. Part IV.

Yep, here it is. Part IV was never actually completed. They filmed some production materials and a trailer of sorts in attempt to get funding, but they couldn't pull it off. And it's for the better, judging from the production footage. It looked to be even worse than part 3, and that's saying quite a lot.

  Years later, the writer and director of part 1 released Return to Sleepaway Camp as an intended direct sequel to the original, forgetting parts 2 and 3. And let's face it, those two are pretty forgettable.

  Return to Sleepaway Camp is, frankly, more of the same. There's a twist, but it's more predictable than an episode of Jersey Shore. It does, however, return to the mystery killer motif, and there are a few suspects this time, primarily the main character, who is an incredibly annoying kid with bad hygiene and an unhealthy love of frogs. Yeah. Frogs. The kid is constantly picked on by all of the other campers, so naturally he's suspected for all of the killings. The actor who played cousin Ricky in the first film returns, and he couldn't be any more disinterested, smoking cigarettes throughout all of his scenes. It's pretty amusing. He sells his autographed pictures on eBay now and then too.

 Oh, and Steve Perry's look alike returns as well. Only now he looks more like Danny Bonaduce. Felissa Rose also reprises her famous role. And Return to Sleepaway Camp features Isaac Hayes, playing a chef... A chef who wears a red shirt... Wonder where they got that idea? It also stars Vincent Pastore, better known as Big Pussy on The Sopranos. This one's a guilty pleasure for me. It's bad, but I enjoyed it anyhow. And it's far more fun than part 3, and better made than part 2.

  All in all, if you can find part 1 and Return to Sleepaway camp, you'll have fun with them. See part 2 if you're curious, and part 3 if you just have to see them all. And if you can get the box set for a reasonable price on eBay, why not? They're also on Youtube, sans boobies and some of the gore, if you want an abridged version. But then you miss out on some of the reveal of part one, which is really the point. They're bad, but... sometimes I like bad things.