Sunday, September 19, 2010

Let There Be (Unedited) Gwar!

    There are few things that are genuinely cool about living in Richmond Virginia. It's the home of controversial Civil War monuments, controversial African American tennis player sculptures, failed minor league sports teams, horrible drivers, and limited parking. But it's also the home of Legend brewery, Plan Nine Records, and most importantly, Gwar.

    Gwar started as a joke. It was the combination of members of a Richmond punk rock band called Death Piggy, and the abandoned art/movie project of a VCU art student. Death Piggy decided to form a joke opening band called Gwarrrrrgh, using costumes created by Hunter Jackson for his art/movie project, which was to be called Scumdogs of the Universe. Over time, Gwarrrrgh gained a larger following that Death Piggy, so the focus was shifted to Gwarrrrgh, which was shortened to Gwar. Gwar was, and still is, best known for their live shows, which back then featured Styrofoam glaciers and paper mache weapons and battles. Eventually they added fake blood pumped through hoses, which soaked the audience in a harmless water based mixture, and paper mache limbs and characters that were "slaughtered" on stage.

   Needless to say, Gwar was always a controversial band, from their jokey potty mouthed lyrics, to their revealing stage costumes, to the violence depicted in their live shows, vulgar and suggestive song titles, and their artwork. But one of their biggest controversies was over the song BDF on one of their best selling albums, This Toilet Earth. BDF, short for baby dick fuck, was included on the original copies of the album. The song was later banned for being too vulgar, and it was removed from all subsequent pressings of the album. The cover images on the original and censored version of the album are identical.

    You have to look at the back of the album to know which version you have. But the back covers are virtually identical as well.


  Unedited back cover

Edited back cover

    You really have to have an eagle eye to spot the difference. The difference is, the unedited version has track 9, B.D.F. listed. The edited version removed the track name and number. And apparently they were in such a rush that they didn't bother to re-number the tracks, so the edited version jumps from track 8 to track 10, with no track 9 listed.

    In all honesty, I can see why they removed the song. Even taken in the obvious tongue in cheek context that is Gwar, it's still a song about raping babies, which takes the joke too far. Then again... it's Gwar. There's a famous "Tipper Sticker," the name affectionately given to the parental advisory stickers resulting from Tipper Gore and the PRMC's campaign against the lyrical content of songs, right on the front cover of the album. The album is called This Toilet Earth, a nod to and parody of the famous b horror movie This Island Earth. Anyone remotely familiar with Gwar gets their sense of humor, and knows what to expect from a Gwar album. And anyone unfamiliar... Well, just look at the costumes on the cover. The title has the word toilet in it. And there's the parental advisory sticker. Also, the title of the offending song is abbreviated. And it's sandwiched between songs titled Penis I See, Bad Bad Men, Slap U Around, and Filthy Flow. Clearly this stuff isn't for grandma, and Gwar doesn't write wholesome family friendly sing alongs.

    In the long run, I'm not bothered by the missing song. It's kind of a throw away song anyhow, compared to the rest of the album, and the rest of Gwar's musical output. What bothers me is the extent to which the censorship went as a result of the removal of the song, because it didn't end with simply taking the song off of the album, and rearranging the tracklist. The cd artwork was changed.

 
Unedited version


Edited version

    There's nothing remotely offensive about the unedited version. It's just cartoon caricatures of the band members. But the track list is around the border of the album, so maybe it was too time consuming and difficult to edit that image and re-release it. And the unedited version was released in partnership with Priority Records, and maybe they couldn't get the financial backing for an edited version with the same artwork. I can overlook that. And at least the track list is corrected on the edited version's cd artwork. But the edits to the cd booklet are another story.

    The unedited version includes bios for all of the band members, lyrics for all of the songs on the album, and artwork from the band members and those involved in the behind the scenes aspects of the band. The edited version completely removed sections, and even entire pages from the booklet, effectively erasing the bios of two of the band members, and much of the artwork.I understand some of the edits that had to be made, such as the edits to page 8 of the booklet. That page included lyrics to the B.D.F. song, so obviously those had to be removed, as the song was no longer on the album. And admittedly, the accompanying cartoon is vulgar and in bad taste. It depicts the lead singer licking the head of a baby being pushed out of the birth canal by its mother.


Unedited page 8

Edited page 8

This edit was done well. The lyrics were removed, the offensive artwork was removed, but the non offensive artwork remained, the lyrics to Fight are still there, and the bio for Beefcake the Mighty is intact. The edits were arguably justified, and they were handled in a fair way. But some of the other edits make no sense to me at all. For example:

Page 1 unedited

Page 1 edited

   The edits to page 1. They just removed the entire page completely. And I really don't see what was so offensive about the unedited version. Flattus Maximus' bio was no more offensive than any of the others. Saddam A Go Go was the hit song on this album. It even earned the band a Grammy Award nomination. So why remove the lyrics to the song that was helping to sell the album? Maybe Penis I See is offensive, but not enough to get it pulled from the album, so why censor the lyrics? The cartoon penis, arguably is offensive, but it's clearly a joke, and not even obviously a penis. Even so, why not just remove that image instead of the entire page? And the last cartoon at the bottom is nothing more than the lead singer peaking around the corner at a fictitious meeting at Stonehenge between Hitler, Saddam, Mussolini, Gwar character Skulhedface, and what looks to be a ninja. I don't see what's offensive about that. maybe Skulheadface was mistaken for the Pope, but even if that's the case, where's the offense?

   And these edits boggle my mind as well. Page 10:

    Page 10 unedited

Page 10 edited

    Again, the entire page was removed. And I don't really see what's offensive here either. You have a cartoon depiction of the guitar player punching a woman. Ok, maybe that's in the woman abuse realm, and that's certainly not cool, but at the same time, it's not graphic, or vulgar, or at all realistically depicted. It's a cartoon hitting another cartoon. That concept has been around as long as cartoons have existed. You have the bio for Sleazy P. Martini, the band's "manager." Again, no more offensive than any of the other bios that made it into the edited version. You have the lyrics to Slap U Around and Krak Town, neither of which were banned from the album. And you have a cartoon depiction of some one's brain exploding in a mushroom cloud from smoking on a pipe. Not exactly an endorsement for drug use, but I suppose that's what some people took it to be, even though the song Krak Down is clearly an anti-drug song... 

But perhaps the dumbest censoring on the booklet is to the artwork on pages 5 and 6.

     Page 5-6 unedited

Page 5-6 edited

    Again, it's a cartoon. Lighten up. Not only that, but the black censored bars only draw attention to the very things they're trying to cover up. Kids are smart enough to figure out what's behind the censored bars. And if the Tipper Sticker is of any use whatsoever, kids that are too young to be able to handle the uncensored version wouldn't have gotten their hands on the album to begin with. But what's really funny is, they missed one. Sexicutioner's penis is uncensored. He's the cartoon character on the far right, raising his glass in a toast. I guess it was so small that they overlooked it. They also overlooked the naked woman in the background on the right side of the drawing. And I guess the breast shaped tree was ok, and it's ok for Slymenstra to defile a corpse, but heaven forbid they depict some cartoon penises...

    It's the aged old sex vs. violence argument. Show all the violence you like, but don't you dare depict sexuality. It's a double standard that really doesn't make any sense. Everyone in the world gets naked at least once a day, when changing their clothes. And hopefully at least once a week when they bathe. But not everyone commits a violent act. Yet when it comes to censorship, nudity is usually far worse than violence. That seems to be the mentality behind the edits to the booklet as well. Cartoon penises are a big no-no, but these are just fine:

Page 2, edited and unedited version 

Page 4, edited and unedited version

   To summarize, sword down throat, axe to head, head blown off from machine gun blast, corpse defilement, cities on fire, impalement, piles of bodies, and the terrorizing of aliens = ok. A couple of cartoon penises, a mind blown from drug use, mild cartoon violence against a woman, and a fictitious meeting of infamous criminals = not ok. Clearly tongue in cheek, social commentary through absurdity and humor Gwar songs about bestiality, pre-school aged prostitutes, missing children, and the senseless killing of many, many people = ok. A song about baby rape, not ok. Unless the song is called Baby Raper. That one was apparently ok.

  Singling out one Gwar song for having offensive lyrics is like singling out a steak for being too delicious. You know what you're getting. They're no surprise. A steak is a steak. They all have certain unwavering characteristics. Some are better than others, but the basic content is always the same. It's cow meat. Same thing with Gwar songs. They're all offensive and dirty and immature. Some are better than others. They're made for a select audience, who has grown to appreciate and understand the humor behind it all. Those who go to Gwar shows, or buy Gwar music know exactly what they're getting, just as those who choose to buy and eat meat know what they're getting. A vegetarian doesn't need a sticker on a slab of meat to know to stay away. They just know it's not for them. It should be the same thing with a Gwar album. Either it's for you, or it's not.

   Musically, This Toilet Earth is a good album. It marks the beginning of Gwar's transition from a goofy punk band to a more experimental and unique sounding band, with punk and metal elements at the forefront. Their humor is still very much present, but it hasn't yet plummeted to the potty humor filled depths of We Kill Everything, or lead singer Dave Brockie's side project, the Dave Brockie Experience. I would rank This Toilet Earth it among Gwar's top 3 best albums, under America Must Be Destroyed (my personal favorite) and Violence has Arrived (their most mature album to date).

  If I had to recommend one Gwar album to check out, it would be America Must Be Destroyed. But their under appreciated gem, in my opinion, is Carnival of Chaos. It's their most musically diverse album, and it's a good mix of "serious" Gwar and "jokey" Gwar. many fans dislike that album though, because it is a departure from their heavier and faster albums. The one to avoid is We Kill Everything. Even the band admits that album was a mistake. Their most recent albums have taken a decidedly more serious turn, and they're somewhat hit and miss. War Party, Violence Has Arrived, and Lust In Space are all very solid albums from the "serious" age of Gwar. Beyond Hell was a bit of a misstep. The band's debut album, Hell-o is pretty rough around the edges, and very much representative of the band's punk rock roots. It's good for completeists mostly, but casual fans may want to avoid it. Ragnarok is somewhat hard to find for some reason, but it's a fan favorite. Personally, I could take it or leave it. Some of the songs are very dated. 

    The band also has an ep for their song The Road Behind off of the America Must Be Destroyed album, a "live" album called Live from Mt Fugi, a limited edition fan club single on 7" vinyl called Stripper Christmas Summer Weekend, and three albums that you're likely never to see outside of bit torrent downloads; Let There Be Gwar, which is a collection of early recordings from the band, You're All Worthless And Weak, a very limited edition fan club release of a live show, and Slaves Going Steady, a collection of songs written by the Gwar "slaves," members of the band who don't normally play instruments on stage. These are the behind the scenes guys that help run the live show, depict the "victims" or bring the band their props during the show.The unedited version of This Toilet Earth, as well as a few of the rare albums do show up on eBay from time to time, but they usually go for top dollar from the ravenous Gwar fans.

   But I still believe the real way to appreciate and experience Gwar is through their live shows. Once you know what to expect, and what you're getting yourself into, they're a blast. Literally... They're a fun mix of rock show, professional wrestling antics, low-budget horror movie goofiness, and somewhat organized chaos. I would suggest watching one of their many live home videos first to get a feel for what goes on. And if you're still into it, wear clothes that are old and not near and dear to your heart. The Gwar blood doesn't usually stain, but you will be covered in it by the end of the night, especially if you see them in a smaller sized club.

Gwar is currently on tour in the U.S. through the end of December, and their new album, tentatively titled Bloody Pit of Horror, is set for release on November 9.         

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