Top 10 Non-Violent Friday the 13th Moments

   So, tomorrow is the first day of October, which means that Halloween is coming soon. It also means that I have horror movies on my mind. But since it's not quite time for blood and guts, here are my top 10 favorite non-violent moments from the Friday the 13th series.

#10. Jason burgers (From part 9, Jason Goes to Hell)

  I HATE this entry in the series, for reasons I'll maybe get into in a later post. But... hockey mask shaped hamburger meat is pretty funny, so I'll give it that much.



#9. Flaming Jason (From part 11, Freddy vs. Jason)

  This whole sequence is just awesome. As I recall, it's one of the longest fire walk stunts in film history as well. He sets a whole corn field ablaze, and kills nearly everyone in sight. Then he's extinguished by a keg of beer. Gotta love that.

#8. Jason's thoughts on hip hop (From part 8, Jason Takes Manhattan (or more accurately, a stroll through Times Square...) )

  Jason's mad, because his victims are getting away, when he comes across a group of punks listening to hip hop on their "ghetto blaster." Jason kicks it out of frustration and anger. The punks threaten him, until he shows his face. It's one of the few good scenes from an otherwise abortion of a movie, affectionately dubbed "Jason takes a boat ride and ends up in Canada's idea of New York," or more colorfully, "Jason takes a sh*t" by fans.



#7. Our gang (From part 3)

  I guess when you're from a small town, and you're trying to be a gang banger, this is what happens. The guy on the right looks like wrestler Sean Michaels, no? Anyway, instead of getting into brawls or tagging up turf, these badasses... cypher gas... and promise not to hurt anyone...




#6. The Ambiguously Gay Duo (From part 5, A New Beginning)

 

  These guys are the most random characters in the entire series. They appear pretty much just to add to the body count. They're not part of the group of teens that are actually in the storyline, and we're not introduced to them at all before their scene. They just show up, their car breaks down, and they're dispatched for no apparent reason other than because they were there. Who are they? Where are they going? We're never told. Which has lead to much speculation. Are they friends, or something more? Perhaps, judging by the leather greaser outfits, they're on their way to a gay bar, or an S&M party. It's not clear, though the one character's leather hat is decidedly very gay. And he sings a random song to himself while trying to start the car. "Rat-tat-tooie to, rat-tat-toot..."

#5. "I've never driven a house before!"  (From part 6, Jason Lives)

  So, in attempt to escape from Jason, our hero gets behind the wheel of an RV, cranks up the Alice Cooper, and rocks out while his girlfriend is fighting with Jason, who's been hiding in the bathroom. Our hero thinks she's either pleasuring herself, or going #2, so he just laughs off the sounds of muffled screaming and thrashing. What really makes this scene shine is his decidedly improvised dialogue, such as, "I've never driven a house before!" and "This is great. I'm really having such a good time." Also, he's John Travolta's nephew. Seriously. Watch it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92sKzGKZv4Y


#4. Confused Puppy Jason (From part 8, Jason Takes Manhattan)

  Jason finally arrives in "New York" (really, somewhere in Canada) ready to hunt his victims, when something catches his eye and gives him pause:

 A billboard that looks like him. It's a pretty funny scene, and Jason's confused puppy look is priceless. It's not the first time he's done it in the series, but it's the best. Almost makes part 8 worth watching. Almost...


#3. OOh Baby, Hey Baby, Ooh Baby (From part 5, A New Beginning)

  After eating a bad enchilada, "Demon" does the shithouse shuffle to a nearbye outhouse. His girlfriend waits patiently outside, shaking the outhouse from time to time, until it gets him angry. To calm her man down, she starts singing to him. And before long, they're exchanging their love song back and forth... while Demon does his business. The lyrics to the song, in their entirety: "Ooh baby, hey baby, ooh baby, hey baby, ooh baby, ooh baby, ooh ooh baby, ooh baby, hey..."  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vK9FdN9Kvoc    What's better, Demon went on to star in the God awful Juwanna Man movie. So singing on a toilet was NOT the low point of his career.

#2. Violet's Dance (From part 5, A New Beginning)

   Part 5 is the most controversial in the series for fans, but it's also just chock full of good random moments. But there are none better than Violet's dance. It's a mix of pop and lock, mixed with robot, and it has to be seen to be believed. Apparently, the actress just went to a nightclub, and that's what the kids were doing, so she mimicked that for the movie. It's pretty epic, at any rate. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iX7144AHxcQ Good song as well, His Eyes by a pretty much forgotten 80's band called Pseudo Echo. Her mom was in A Nightmare on Elm Street 3 & 4 as well, so bonus points.

And the #1 moment.....

Crispin Glover's Kooky Dance (From part 4, The Final Chapter) 

Yes, it's blurry. You know why? Because you can't possibly capture that much awesome with a mere human mortal contraption. He flails around like a spaz on shore leave, and he STILL gets the girl. Only in the 80's... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3_f0ELRcgCo  Supposedly he's really dancing to Back In Black by AC/DC, which makes a little more sense than the song used in the film. Even so... This is why Crispin Glover is epic. Well, this and Back to the Future...