I appreciate their legacy. I acknowledge the influence they've had on many, many bands that I do like. Courtney Love stole a Kiss t-shirt when she was a youngin. Weezer sang about Kiss on their first album. Sebastian Bach (formerly of Skid Row) has a cup of Gene Simmons' stage blood in his freezer. Hell, Dimebag Darrell from Pantera was burried in a Kiss casket. But I just don't see myself ever enlisting in the Kiss Army.
I've tried, but I can count on one hand the number of Kiss songs that I actually like. Cold Gin, God of Thunder, and for some reason, I really like Modern Day Delilah from their new album. And, that's about it. If I never hear Rock and Roll All Night ever again I'll be a happy man. I also think I mostly like Cold Gin and God of Thunder because bands that I like have covered those songs, and done them better. And their disco era and no makeup eras were just... bad.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kNGNLo8K6Fk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lNKJ4SPj_Rw
To be fair, I've never seen them live. And maybe that's really the way to appreciate Kiss. There are plenty of bands that have a so-so musical output, but a great live show. And I can appreciate the appeal of tons of pyrotechnics, Gene spitting fake blood while playing an axe shaped bass guitar, guitars with flames that shoot out from the headstock, harnesses and wires that let the band members fly, confetti cannons, etc. I get that music is allowed to be fun now and then. Not every band has to write thought provoking lyrics, and pour their hearts out with every vocal performance. I get it. But I still don't get it.
Maybe it's an age issue. I'm definitely a child of the 90's, musically. I love Nirvana, Alice In Chains, Soundgarden, Tad, Mudhoney, etc. All of those shoe gazing grunge bands. They were around during my formative years, and I think you're naturally drawn to whatever music scene exists when you're a teenager. But I also love early Aerosmith, AC/DC, Alice Cooper, Iron Maiden, Slayer, Metallica, Megadeth... I respect the roots of the bands I love. Which is where my guilt over not liking Kiss comes in. By all means, I should like them. They play rock music. They upset parents back in the day. Their songs are guitar driven. They were on Family Guy. And the aforementioned fire and blood. I like fire and blood. But for whatever reason, something just doesn't connect for me.
Paul Stanley's voice is a bit grating on my nerves. Maybe that's it. And Gene Simmons irritates me in general. He's just so arrogant. I don't deal with arrogance very well. Yes, mazel tov, Chiam (his birth name), you've bedded thousands of women and have a mountain of cash. And yet you're still not man enough to make the mother of your now fully grown children your wife? I can't respect that.
But, I can't hold that against Kiss. If I stopped liking bands because one of their members is a douchebag, I would own maybe three albums. Maybe it's just the overabundance of Kiss merchandising. I can't really blame them for that either though. I mean, if people are still willing to buy it, why not? Yes, fundamentally I think it's ridiculous to slap a band logo on condoms and caskets, but apparently there are plenty of people who disagree. And secretly, there's a part of me that eyeballs those vintage Kiss action figures at the antique store with a kind of nostalgic awe, and I'm tempted to make an offer for them. Also, mixing their own blood into the vats of ink for the Kiss comic book is pretty damn metal. Is it a sell out move, having so much merchandise? Sure. But that's like calling Pizza Hut sellouts. Kiss is, and always has been, a product. They're not out to change the world; they're out to sell their limited edition Zippo lighter set to it, at a premium cost. I may not like him, but I have to admire Gene Simmons' business acumen. Die hard fans have entire rooms filled with his product. And if your goal as a musician is to make money, you can't follow a much better example than Kiss.
And, at least they're still recording and releasing full length albums. That's more than I can say for my favorite band, the Misfits... The Misfits have put out a total of four new, original songs in the last 11 years. And two of those were instrumentals, that you could only get if you bought their covers album and an album from one of the bands on their record label. And the Misfits are threatening to match Kiss soon with the amount of ridiculous merchandise they've put out lately. (And yes, I do have Misfits action figures...)
But, that's another rant. For now, I'll beg your forgiveness and say my Hail Ozzys.
One thing is certain when it comes to Kiss; Paul Stanley has the most epic chest hair in the history of mankind.
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